15 Questions You Should Answer Before Getting Married

This post came as a result of a questionnaire published by the New York Times. 

Relationship experts report that too many couples fail to ask each other critical questions before marrying. Here are a few key ones that couples should consider asking:

1) Have we discussed whether or not to have children, and if the answer is yes, who is going to be the primary care giver?

 Yes we want one more.  I’m not sure who will be the primary care giver, but I plan to be very involved in my child’s life.  That’s something we have discussed.   

2) Do we have a clear idea of each other’s financial obligations and goals, and do our ideas about spending and saving mesh?

Yes, yes and sort of…I’m getting better.  Diva’s the saver, I’m the spender…I am now in spontaneous spending rehab….one day at a time y’all.

3) Have we discussed our expectations for how the household will be maintained, and are we in agreement on who will manage the chores?

Yes. We are in agreement that Black Man Cometh and Diva can’t stand filth and don’t  wait around wondering who’s gonna clean something, we just do it.

4) Have we fully disclosed our health histories, both physical and mental?

 Yes.  I’m happy and healthy…and so am I.

 5) Is my partner affectionate to the degree that I expect?

Yes. Oh yes.

6) Can we comfortably and openly discuss our sexual needs, preferences and fears?

Yes.   

7) Will there be a television in the bedroom?

Yes, and a bed, and some pillows, and a dresser, and an XBOX and a…..

8) Do we truly listen to each other and fairly consider one another’s ideas and complaints?

 Yes.  And that has been the most refreshing thing I’ve found in this relationship, Diva and I could disagree with each other over something, but at all times we remain considerate.  We don’t just dismiss each other. 

 9) Have we reached a clear understanding of each other’s spiritual beliefs and needs, and have we discussed when and how our children will be exposed to religious/moral education?

 Yes.  This has probably put some fear in some people close to us because honestly we’re not as church going as we used to be, but make no mistake,  God is present and prominent in our home.  I believe the twins have a healthy and appropriate  understanding of God  for their ages.

 10) Do we like and respect each other’s friends?

 Yes. Even though some of them make fun of me.  Don’t think I don’t know!

 11) Do we value and respect each other’s parents, and is either of us concerned about whether the parents will interfere with the relationship?

 Yes we respect and value them, and no, were not concerned.  In fact, we’ve come to expect interference.     

 12) What does my family do that annoys you?

 Its annoying when they try to make Diva feel less than herself.  She shouldn’t be dulled or held up by people who think she should be a certain way, she is who sh is…DIVA… and for me that’s perfect.  I love the lady.

 13) Are there some things that you and I are NOT prepared to give up in the marriage?

 Stan (wouldn’t you like to know?) and my BlackBerry.  I’m keeping both.

 14) If one of us were to be offered a career opportunity in a location far from the other’s family, are we prepared to move?

Depends, we’ve discovered we are New Yorkers through and through so a move would have to be worth it.

 15) Do each of us feel fully confident in the other’s commitment to the marriage and believe that the bond can survive whatever challenges we may face?

 As long as we got each other, we gon be alright.  Fear not Godmother.  Your baby is in good hands.  

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